I think that the Kiwi ones are a bit harsh, but going by the way the New
Zealand press are reacting, maybe not.
Darryl
>Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Poms & Kiwis
>
>
>A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is
>wearing a England rugby jersey and is festooned with England pom-poms.
>
>The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed! You'll have to leave."
>The guy begs him, "Look, I'm desperate! We're both big fans, the TV's
>broken at home, and this is the only place around where we can see the
>game."
>
>After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that
>he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender
>relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big
>game begins with the Poms receiving the kick-off. They march down field,
>get stopped at the 22, and kick a penalty goal.
>
>Suddenly, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down
>the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says, "Wow, that is
>the most amazing thing I've seen! What does the dog do if they score a
>try?"
>
>The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for three years."
>
>
>===========================
>
>Q. What do you do for a drowning New Zealand Rugby player?
>A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.
>
>===========================
>
>Q. What's the difference between the All blacks and an arsonist? A. An
>
>arsonist wouldn't waste 5 matches.
>
>============================
>
>The All Blacks are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and
>
>no CUP!!!
>
>============================
>
>Did you hear that the NZ Post Office has had to recall their latest
>stamps? They had pictures of the All Blacks players on them. People
>couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
>
>============================
>
>Did you hear about the Kiwi politician who was found dead in a All Black
>jersey?
>
>The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his
>family from the embarrassment.
>
>============================
>
>Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says,
>"Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up
>everything inside them is numbered."
>
>The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything
>inside them is in alphabetical order."
>
>Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is
>colour-coded."
>
>The fourth one says, "I prefer New Zealand Rugby players. They're
>heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are
>interchangeable."
>
>============================
>
>A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off
>
>and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.
>
>He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?"
>
>"Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Carlos Spencer".
>
>"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the
>leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?"
>
>"Well, he tried to escape through the park."
>
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Received on Mon Nov 24 2003 - 01:31:04 UTC