>STELLA AWARDS
>
>It's time once again to consider the candidates for the 2003 Stella
>Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who
>spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds.
>
>That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most uniquely
>successful lawsuits in the United States for last year. Actually, joint
>awards
>should be given to the plaintiff attorneys and the flaming idiots
>on the juries who awarded anything at all to these morons--who
>deserved NOTHING!!!!
>
>The following are this year's candidates:
>
>/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
>Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury
>of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who
>was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
>understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
>misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
>
>/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
>expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
>
>Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel
>of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.
>
>/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
>Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he
>had just finished robbing by way of the garage.
>He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic
>door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house
>because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he
>pulled it shut.
>
>The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in
>the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
>found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
>claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury
>agreed,to the tune of $500,000.
>
>/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
>Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
>medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
>door neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
>yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
>might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams
>who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
>
>/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
>A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
>Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink
>and broke her coccyx! (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
>because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
>earlier during an argument.
>
>/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
>Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of
>a nightclub in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom
>window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This
>occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the
>ladies
>room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000
>and dental expenses.
>
>/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
>This year's favourite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of
>Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot
>Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto
>the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
>driver's seat to
>go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV
>left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago
>for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do
>this.
>The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company
>actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in
>case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation
>vehicles.
>
>
>
>
>And people wonder why insurance premiums are so high!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
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Received on Tue Jul 01 2003 - 04:45:58 UTC