Re: [Epic] The Banana and String Joke

From: Alan E & Carmel J Brain <aebrain_at_...>
Date: Sun, 28 Sep 1997 13:29:43 -0700

Kevin Walker wrote:

> >Reminds me of the one about the Chaos Marine, the Banana, and the bit of
> >string.
>
> Okay, I'll be the idiot. Let's hear it.

Here is the abbreviated version.

A Chaos Marine slithers into a hotel on a Daemon world, and asks for a
room.

"I'm sorry Sir -er - Madam - er - We only have a Lava pit for visiting
gentry left."

"That's OK, I'll be quite comfortable. Just give me a banana and a bit
of string, and I'll be quite safe."

Next morning, the Landlord greets the Chaos Marine.

"How was your night's rest, Sir/Madame?"

"Fine thanks, haven't slept like that for a millenium. I think I'll stay
here another night."

"Oh, I'm sorry your Lord-and-Ladyship, the pit's taken by a visiting
Bloodthirster. We only have a small area of the torture chamber left,
the Room Of Rotating Knives."

"That's OK. Just give me a banana and a piece of string, and I'll be
quite safe."

Next morning, the Landlord greets the Chaos Marine.

"How was your night's rest, Sir/Madame? I see your armour's been slashed
to ribbons, but you seem quite healthy!"

"I'm Fine thanks, had a nice and comfy sleep. I think I'll stay here
another night, and can you recommend a good armourer?."

"Oh, I'm sorry your Lord-and-Ladyship, the torture chamber's reserved
for a Slaaneshi party tonight. The only room we have left is in the
heart of a fusion reactor."

"That's OK. Better leave my armour in the workshop, it wouldn't last a
millisecond in the reactor. Just give me a banana and a piece of string,
and I'll be quite safe."

Next morning, the Landlord greets the Chaos Marine.

"Good morning! I like the new blue glow!"

"Yes, it goes with my complexion. Please have my armour brought to me,
and I'll pay the bill."

"Just one question, if I may be so bold. You slept in a pool of molten
lava, then in a room full of rotating knives, and finally in the core of
a fusion reactor. How did you remain alive??"

"Oh, that was the banana and the bit of string. It always works. Of
course you have to know the secret."

"WHAT IS the secret?"

"Well you must promise not to reveal it to anyone, neither in spoken or
written form."

"I promise."

So the Chaos Marine told him, and the Landlord kept his promise.

-- 
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Received on Sun Sep 28 1997 - 20:29:43 UTC

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