[Epic][Chat] Language

From: Antony Van Der Linden <Antony.VanDerLinden_at_...>
Date: Mon, 23 Jun 1997 10:09:34 +1000 (EST)

Hi all,

        with all this talk about language I thought you all might get a
kick out of this.

>Guten Abend!
>Subject: EuroEnglish
>The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
>been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for
>European communications, rather than German, which was the other
>possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
>conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has
>accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish
>(Euro for short).
>In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
>Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the
>hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this Klear up
>Konfusion, but typewriters Kan have one less letter.
>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when
>the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words
>like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
>In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
>expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
>possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
>which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
>agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
>disgrasful, and they would go.
>By the fourth year, peopl wil be respetiv to steps such as
>replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
>During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
>kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
>kombinations of leters.
>After zis fifz year, ve vil hav reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
>be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
>undertand ech ozer.
>Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

        As for Latin, my sixth grade teacher actually taught us Latin and
Greek roots of English words to help us with our comprehension. Perhaps
because of that I knew what my Physics teacher meant when he told me
"Tempus fugit Tony, tempus fugit" when I procrastinated in class.

 Tony VanDerLinden - | The only things we have to fear are ....
 E-mail: | light beer and engineers.
 Antony.VanDerLinden_at_... |
Received on Thu Jan 01 1970 - 00:00:00 UTC

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