After arguing about how many Primarchs can dance on the head of a
Detachment, when is a CSM etc, here's something to refresh the palate.
Unashamedly off-topic.
A Higher Authority
To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys.
Sirs:
Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your
recent product
entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of
intent of
proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.
With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all
of the
Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised
"look-and-feel" of the
Elder Gods, for the following reasons:
* Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell;
* No man can be in it's presence for too long without being driven into
gibbering
insanity;
* A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd;
* Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical
characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally
unkempt
physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet
to that
which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke;
in Ours,
human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods);
* Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed
to exist;
they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a
terrible cost to
the user.
* The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world,
and force
all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.
As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider
that most
judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces
scoop out
their brains and eat them.
We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of
court,
since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the
rest of their
mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security
psychiatric
hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave
humanity
lawyers in the first place.
Respectfully yours,
(Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor)
--
aebrain_at_... <> <> How doth the little Crocodile
| Alan & Carmel Brain| xxxxx Improve his shining tail?
| Canberra Australia | xxxxxHxHxxxxxx _MMMMMMMMM_MMMMMMMMM
abrain_at_... o OO*O^^^^O*OO o oo oo oo oo
By pulling MAERKLIN Wagons, in 1/220 Scale
Received on Mon Aug 31 1998 - 10:16:14 UTC